Kind jokes
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
What kind of cow has 2 legs?
YOUR MOM!!
Once upon a time, there was a poor man, a middle-class man, and a rich man. They were all talking about how they found happiness in their lives. The rich man said, "I found happiness through money and all of my assets." The middle-class man said, "I found happiness through my steady job and my loving household." The poor man said, "I may not have much, but I find my happiness through the little acts of kindness people show me."
And then the wall fell on them.
I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster.
I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?
smart
kind
sweet
caring
loving
mature
What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
A bullfrog!
What kind of star will come out in the daytime?
A starfish! 🐟🐠🐡🦐🦞🦀🦑🐙🦂
What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?
Q: One that has a sense of money.
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
What kind of people love donuts in the morning? Cops, because they don't have anything else to do.
What kind of chair inhabits your soul?
A hair!
What kind of pillow makes sounds?
Trump goes to a bar and sees Hillary Clinton. He goes up to her and says, "Buy me a drink." She replies angrily, "Get your own drinks. What kind of a man asks a woman to buy him a drink?" Trump responds, "The kind that will grab you by the p***y."
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.
Friend: What kind?
Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.
Friend: That's not funny..
Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.
Friend: I'm calling your mom.
Me: She knows.
Friend: What's she doing to help, then?
Me: She's supposed to help?
Friend: Have you told your dad?
Me: I will when he comes back.
Friend: Where is he?
Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.
Friend: ....
Me: What?
Friend: Why?
Me: Why what?
Friend: Why would you joke like that?
Me: I was joking..
Friend: I know.
Me: Oh. I didn't know.
Friend:...
Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...
What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?