Once upon a time, there was a poor man, a middle-class man, and a rich man. They were all talking about how they found happiness in their lives. The rich man said, "I found happiness through money and all of my assets." The middle-class man said, "I found happiness through my steady job and my loving household." The poor man said, "I may not have much, but I find my happiness through the little acts of kindness people show me."
And then the wall fell on them.
I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster.
I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?
smart
kind
sweet
caring
loving
mature
What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
A bullfrog!
What kind of star will come out in the daytime?
A starfish! 🐟🐠🐡🦐🦞🦀🦑🐙🦂
What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?
Q: One that has a sense of money.
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
What kind of people love donuts in the morning? Cops, because they don't have anything else to do.
What kind of chair inhabits your soul?
A hair!
What kind of pillow makes sounds?
Trump goes to a bar and sees Hillary Clinton. He goes up to her and says, "Buy me a drink." She replies angrily, "Get your own drinks. What kind of a man asks a woman to buy him a drink?" Trump responds, "The kind that will grab you by the p***y."
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.
Friend: What kind?
Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.
Friend: That's not funny..
Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.
Friend: I'm calling your mom.
Me: She knows.
Friend: What's she doing to help, then?
Me: She's supposed to help?
Friend: Have you told your dad?
Me: I will when he comes back.
Friend: Where is he?
Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.
Friend: ....
Me: What?
Friend: Why?
Me: Why what?
Friend: Why would you joke like that?
Me: I was joking..
Friend: I know.
Me: Oh. I didn't know.
Friend:...
Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...
What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
My dad is nice!
