Jimmy

Jimmy Jokes

Friend

My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."

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  • Clock

    Why did Jimmy throw the clock out the window? Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who knife-raped his wife.

  • 1
  • Egg

    Why was the egg runny?

    Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.

    Shower

    Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"

    Help

    "I need help, George Sink," said Jimmy.

    "What is it?" said George Sink.

    "Can you wash my dishes?" said Jimmy.

    Jimmy Savile

    I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.