I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.
Howard stern rules biotches!
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
So, Dora is having a sleepover with her cousin Diego at Dora's house. Later that night, Dora's mom hears someone screaming, "Go Diego go!" for at least a couple of minutes, and then it stops, and she goes back to sleep.
But then she hears the same thing a couple of minutes later, so she walks in and hears "Go Diego go!" She walks over to Diego's sleeping bag and looks, and it's empty, so she walks over to Dora's sleeping bag and looks in and sees Dora getting f
... by Diego and hears Dora saying, "Go Diego go!" while moaning.
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.
Sometimes I wish my gf was here, that way we could have some fun in my bed. Then I realize she's right across the hall. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA)!!
Incest.
When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.
Best friend: Dude, your sister is hot, I'd hit that.
Me: Already did. SWEET HOME ALABAMA
you're gay
The south
When meeting her parents doesn't require you to leave the house.
What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?
Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
Female Rights
Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."
Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"
Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."
If you read this you fucked your dad and your 4 year old sister you sick fuck... Atleast wait till they are 15
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Guys, my sister's pregnant!
I'm finally a dad!
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
