Girl: How much do you love me?
Me: Count the stars in the sky.
Girl: Aww, it's infinite!
Me: No, just a waste of time.
Howe Jokes
A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"
I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."
Bootylicious lol
How are orphans like Spider-Man?
No way home.
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
Yesterday, a guy threw a liter of milk at me.
How dairy!
How do you fit 100 rape victims inside a Mini Cooper?
In the ashtray.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
I like my wine how I like my women: 7 years old, and locked up in my basement.
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
How do NASA plan parades?
They plan-et.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until they see their parents.
