Hook jokes
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What kind of punch takes out 20 children and 8 adults? A Sandy Hook.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of fishing?
Catching BIG BASS.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
Why do rappers make great fishermen?
They always have the best HOOKS.
What do you call a rapper who's also a pirate?
Captain Rhyme.
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because he wanted to reel in the BEST HOOKS.
Why did the rapper bring a fishing rod to the studio?
To reel in some KILLER HOOKS.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg!
Is laughing a problem?
Laughing at what?
I want to jump.
Jump—what?
Jump off the hook.
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
What caused Captain Hook's death?
He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.
I'm always hanging in there.
Hanging on the wall.