Home Daddy jokes

If Dusty's dad from Home Alone 2 was in NASA, how come he is not famous?

The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"

Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*

Daddy:...

Timmy: Well come on diddy!

Daddy: Well shit lets go son!

Both: YEE YEE

SWEET HOME ALABAMA

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were going out and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home, and I will get back with him tomorrow morning.

My dad coming back.

Dads are like boomerangs, I hope.

Me: MOM, I'm tired.

Mom: Take a nap.

Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.

Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.