Home Daddy jokes

If Dusty's dad from Home Alone 2 was in NASA, how come he is not famous?

The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"

I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.

I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.

Hey Siri, where is my dad?

Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!

Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

...WhAT-

My dad just comes and goes.

Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.