Him jokes

Wheelchair

  • This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.

    Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.

  • 3
  • Punishment

  • People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.

    He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.

  • 1
  • Doctor

  • A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.

    The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”

    “Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”

    “Ten,” says the doctor.

    “What, years? Months?!”

    “Nine...”

  • 1
  • Murder

  • They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

  • 8
  • Orphanage

  • I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.

    Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.

    People

  • Imagine this whole “Dr. Strange jokes” is just full of people simping over him.

    Couldn’t Be Me.

  • 2
  • Cop

  • A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

    I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

    Tag

  • Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.

  • 1
  • Priest

  • A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.

    When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"

    The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.

    Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"

    God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"

  • 1
  • Orphanage

  • Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.