HI jokes
5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"Why the heck were my children jumping on a bed?"
Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.
Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*
No phobia lasts forever 👌😂
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
One day there was a boy who needed the toilet, so he goes to his teacher and asks if he can go to the toilet. The teacher says "yes, but before you go, what are the first 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy replies, "I don't know, miss..." The teacher says that he will have to wait.
Later, the boy goes home to his mom who is on the phone. He asks, "What is the first letter in the alphabet?" His mom says, "Oh, shut up!" So the boy goes to his dad who is playing darts and says, "What is the second letter in the alphabet?" His dad says "180!" So the boy goes to his sister who is playing with her Barbies. The boy asks, "What is the 3rd letter in the alphabet?" The sister says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"
The next day, the boy goes to school and needs the toilet again, so he goes to ask if he can go, and the teacher says, "Yes, but before you go, what are the 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy says, "Oh, shut up!" The teacher is angry about that, so she says, "What is the second one?" "180!" says the boy, and the teacher asks him where he is from, and the boy says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"
The end.
My brother can't wait for spring... he wet his plants!
Hi, my name's Dixy.
Dixy Normis.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his mother.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?
Because he's dead.
My name is Bob, and I am a cow.
My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.
What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?
Catch you later!
Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
Hi boo!
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.