HI jokes

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Me: Hi Jaiden.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.

Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*

Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.

FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!

Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."

So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"

An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.

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    • A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.

    Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."

    One night, a girl said to her family, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa." The next morning, her grandpa died. That night, she said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodbye Grandma." The next morning, the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night, the girl said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy." The next morning, the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine, but when he went into the kitchen, he saw his wife crying. When he asked her what's wrong, she said, "The mailman died."

    Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain than he does in his dick, and his dick is 1/4 of a millimeter.

    Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

    Because he was sans and too lazy to get his butt off the couch.

    How did Stephen Hawking die?

    He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!