What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
HI Jokes
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his mother.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?
Because he's dead.
My name is Bob, and I am a cow.
My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.
What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?
Catch you later!
Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
Hi boo!
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"
Q: Why did the chip run away?
A: His saucy friend tried to jizz on him.
Hi.
Hi.
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