How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
HI Jokes
A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.
The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?
He should just go to his mom and dad!
How do you make an orphan shut up?
You tell his mom.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his parents.
Oasis, am I right?
When a kid says, "I'm a pedophile," it means that he has a crush on one of his classmates.
When an adult says it, he is accused as a rapper.
What is money called in space?
Star bucks.
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
My forehead so big,
big like Biggie Smalls. I love cock, please bum my hole.
Hi.
"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."
how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?
kick his sister in the jaw
A bee said to his naughty son, "Honey, stop bee-ing abnormal and bee positive!"
A basketball player walks into a strip club:
"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
