Hes

Hes jokes

Orphan

If you're ever bored, jump on Vedanta, what is he going to do, tell his parents? (He probably will.)

Memes

Kid

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!

Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.

Dog

What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.

Octopus

I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.

Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.

But the vet charged me six quid.

Well

Q: Why did the blind man fall into the well?

A: Because he couldn't see that well.

End

Hey, did you know that Stephen Hawking predicted the end of the world?

Well, not really. He predicted the end of *his* world.

Info

Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?

It took all his info!

Brain

I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.

Hobo

Zozo the hobo has two frogs and a bunny cage from pet expo. Why? Because he wanted a pet, you idiot!

Rest

If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?