Hes jokes

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!

Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?

He got 12 months.

Worst joke ever.

What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"

Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"

Why did the ghost become a rapper?

Because he had some UNEARTHLY flow!

What's the different when a little boy drops in Japan then and now?

When a little boy falls today he gets back up. But then everyone fell and never came back up.

Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?

He was playing with too many strokes.

Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the party?

So he could drop some WORDPLAY.

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

Dog toys are getting out of control.

My mum's dog has a round bison bone.

Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.

Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.

My cousin is a surgeon.

Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.

Trump got a new jet.

He's probably already licked the windows.

I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.

Why did the rapper oil up his notepad?

In case he needed to DROP some FREESTYLE NOTES!

How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.

This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."

He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."

So I went to a mall and I was finna buy something... and I saw a little boy and he said "hello," so then I passed by him and he said "hi," and I was like "hi nigga," and he said, "um, just wondering something... I mean I like jokes, but what is dark humor?" And I was like "umm🤔.. it's like 🤔🤔...like you see that guy without legs? Tell him to stand up"... and he said "I'm blind nigga" and I said "exactly homie"... aight nigga peace and look out😏😉

I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad. Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long, but boy, it's awfully sad. Although I came from a hole (Although I came from a hole) I'm singin' right from the soul (I'm singin' right from the soul)

My fanny needs a blanket And somebody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby

And I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha, I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll)

My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”

I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”

I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”