Hes jokes
I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.
Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?
Finally my father came early from office today. I am very happy.
He was fired from his job.
Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?
He was playing with too many strokes.
When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.
Memes
Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?
Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!
Q: Why did the Mexican start taking anti-anxiety pills?
A: Because he was taking them for His-panic attacks.
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."
@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.
Everybody knows the joke: Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven ate nine.
But why was 10 scared? Because he was right in the middle of 9/11.
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because he next to 9 and 11.
Why did the ghost become a rapper?
Because he had some UNEARTHLY flow!
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
For when he made it RAIN in the club.
Why did the rapper oil up his notepad?
In case he needed to DROP some FREESTYLE NOTES!
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the party?
So he could drop some WORDPLAY.
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Worst joke ever.
What happened to Peter Pan when he jumped off the Twin Towers?
He Neverland.
Why was Hitler born? Because he got killed.