Hes Jokes

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

Q: Why did the Mexican start taking anti-anxiety pills?

A: Because he was taking them for His-panic attacks.

I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?

He would take him to a "pignic."

My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.

Deku be like:

A four-panel cartoon shows three characters from My Hero Academia. In the first panel, a man with glasses is yelling, "HE MADE DEKU CRY!" In the second, a girl with brown hair exclaims, "DEKU ALWAYS CRIES!" In the third panel, Deku looks surprised and says, "THAT'S NOT TRUE!" The last panel shows Deku crying and saying, "HE CRIES!"

Finally my father came early from office today. I am very happy.

He was fired from his job.

@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.

Everybody knows the joke: Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven ate nine.

But why was 10 scared? Because he was right in the middle of 9/11.

A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.

Why did Ross fall off the swing?

Because he had no arms.

He is dead.

I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."

I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."

He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."

I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.