Hes jokes
Awww, Gwen thinks she has a boyfriend! Oh wait, no you don't! She is just some loser ass bitch who could be a ho, you don't know. He was mine, and I want him back!
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
'Cause he was on crack.
What did the mincrater do when his Xbox turns off?
He raged! 😱
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with!
Memes
Why did the egg fall off the motorbike?
He was shite.
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
For when he made it RAIN in the club.
If Will Smith could be in any movie, he would be in "Find My Hairline."
Yo mama so fat that when he was talking to a man, her bowels fell out.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because he next to 9 and 11.
Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?
Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
Q: Why did the Mexican start taking anti-anxiety pills?
A: Because he was taking them for His-panic attacks.
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."
My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.
Finally my father came early from office today. I am very happy.
He was fired from his job.