Hes jokes
Why does the kid in the wheelchair get bullied all the time?
Because he can’t stand up for himself.
Your dad is so stupid that when he jumped the fence, the gate was open.
I spit on an orphan. What is he going to do? Tell his parents?
Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can never find home.
A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."
Why isn't Stephen Hawking going to heaven?
Because he's British.
Memes
My dad left for milk 4 hours ago, anyone know where he is?
Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?
Me: He could feel it in his bones.
Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!
Heheh ;3
How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.
Why did the chicken explode? Because he pooped his pants!
A "type person" is addicted to eating sugar.
When the doctor saw this, he said,
"From Type 2 Diabetes!"
Get it?
What did the cow say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
Why can’t someone say "ur mums gay" to an orphan? Because he doesn’t have a mum.
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.
What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?
"Meow!"
What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
What do you call a Flying Pilot? Because he can go pee on the plane!
So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.
Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"
Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."