Hes jokes

Three friends go to a water park and meet a genie. "You each get one wish." "When you get to the top of the slide, you shall scream your wish as you go down." The first man went down the slide and screamed "Coca Cola," and the pool was filled with Coca-Cola.

The next ugly-ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams "C-M&Ms" as if he wasn’t just about to say cum—then the pool was full of cu—I mean M&Ms. The last horny-ass bitch is so excited he says "Weee!" Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pool wasn’t full of dildos./j

Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.

Never trust a Justin, he is made up of atoms that make up everything.

Why did 1 eat 2?

'Cause he was hungry.

A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde. When she turns him down, he goes to her and says, "C'mon, I'm a fun guy!"

Why does former president Donald J. Trump still want the Mexican government to help him to build a wall to keep them out because he is a Christian nationalist on steroids?

Jesus got rejected. A few years later, he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.

A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...

Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”

How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire?

He won the F1 Wheelchair race.

Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He turned off the Wi-Fi.

The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far away from the wall; the cord unplugged.

Why did the blind man fall down a well?

Because he couldn’t see that well.

He went too far away from the wall, and he got unplugged.

Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.

Mozart doesn't care if Bach is better than him; at least he puts a lot of emotion [into his music and] he makes people happy.

A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.

I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.

Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"

I would tell a joke, but I’m sad my dad died in 9/11. He’s the greatest pilot that went down with the Twin Towers.

Why did the old man win in a fight? Because he was stressed.