Hes jokes

Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.

One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.

I'm glad Stephen Hawking died because he was wheely wheely bad.

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

Why did Ross fall off the swing?

Because he had no arms.

If Stephen Hawking was an Xbox... he just red ringed and rose up to GameStop.

A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.

I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.

Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?

Finally my father came early from office today. I am very happy.

He was fired from his job.

Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?

He was playing with too many strokes.

When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.

Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?

Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!

Q: Why did the Mexican start taking anti-anxiety pills?

A: Because he was taking them for His-panic attacks.

I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?

He would take him to a "pignic."

@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.

Everybody knows the joke: Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven ate nine.

But why was 10 scared? Because he was right in the middle of 9/11.

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

Why is 10 afraid?

Because he next to 9 and 11.

Why did the ghost become a rapper?

Because he had some UNEARTHLY flow!