Hes jokes

Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He turned off the Wi-Fi.

The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far away from the wall; the cord unplugged.

Why did the blind man fall down a well?

Because he couldn’t see that well.

He went too far away from the wall, and he got unplugged.

Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.

Mozart doesn't care if Bach is better than him; at least he puts a lot of emotion [into his music and] he makes people happy.

A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.

I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.

Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"

I would tell a joke, but I’m sad my dad died in 9/11. He’s the greatest pilot that went down with the Twin Towers.

Why did the old man win in a fight? Because he was stressed.

God, aka Mr. Universe said he was God's gift to this earth, but where is he?

Remember the big forehead kid who said, "Give me a knife, I'm going to kill myself" because of being bullied?

His head was too big to even exist, and that's why he's dead.

When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.

When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.

When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.

When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.

Why did Dad say no to the pool? Because he can't swim.

I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.

In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.

So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.

"Cheesus" hates me, yeah, I know, 'cause he's a real douchelord fictional character.

I was playing basketball and a guy in a wheelchair asked if he could play.

I looked at him and told him that we are looking for ankle breakers, yours are already broken.

Is your dad a magician?

Because he magically disappeared.