Hes jokes

You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?

Son: Dad, please don't.

Dad: Exactly.

Why does a cheetah always lose on a test? Because he is a cheater!

So I punched an orphan...

What's he/she going to do? Tell his/her parents???

Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he's slightly ginger.

Why did everyone dislike Little Johnny at school?

'Cause he pierced everyone's livers with a .357 magnum.

A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.

After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.

And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"

God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"

I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers.

He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away.

I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨‍🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.

An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.

What's wrong with my friend?

He's called Dobby Coleman and has a massive jaw.

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

When the driver ran out of fuel, what kind of gasoline did he use? Grassoline.

Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.

How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.

A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."

The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.

There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.

They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.

What did the orphan's mom say to him when he got into trouble?

Nothing, because he doesn't know his parents...

If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.