Hes

Hes jokes

Bread

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

Skeleton

What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"

He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"

House

It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)

Whale

A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.

When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"

Memes

Prank

So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.

Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.

Rhyme

The fact that "Hawkins" rhymes with "walking" and "talking," yet he could never do any of them.

Sex

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... He died of hearing aids.

Dad

Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?

Son: Dad, please don't.

Dad: Exactly.

Rapper

Why did the rapper apologize to the sidewalk?

He didn’t mean to SPIT that hard.

Rapper

Why was the rapper bad at basketball?

He could only dribble rhymes.