Hes jokes

Why did the person go to jail?

He committed a crime.

Why did the chicken cross to the U.S. from Mexico?

To get to the U.S., but he had to show his papers first.

Why is Trump bad with America? Because he made it scream.

Why does a cheetah always lose on a test? Because he is a cheater!

A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.

After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.

And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"

God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"

Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he's slightly ginger.

So I punched an orphan...

What's he/she going to do? Tell his/her parents???

Why did everyone dislike Little Johnny at school?

'Cause he pierced everyone's livers with a .357 magnum.

I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨‍🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.

I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers.

He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away.

An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.

Stop blaming Bush. He is white, it couldn’t have been him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.

What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?

He got gangryeen.

Gangrene+green+angry

When the driver ran out of fuel, what kind of gasoline did he use? Grassoline.

You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.

What does General Grievous say after he gets his penis growth pills?

A fine addition to my erection.

Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.

Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.

I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.

I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.