Hes jokes
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.
One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"
His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."
The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."
One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"
Why did the chicken cross to the U.S. from Mexico?
To get to the U.S., but he had to show his papers first.
Why did the person go to jail?
He committed a crime.
Why is Trump bad with America? Because he made it scream.
Memes
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
Gloves!
JK, he hasn't opened it yet.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.
Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.
The fact that "Hawkins" rhymes with "walking" and "talking," yet he could never do any of them.
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
Stephen Hawking died because he turned off his VPN.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.
He also forgot to pay the power bill.
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.
He couldn't take the stairway to heaven; he had to take the lift.
He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a power cut.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to get the free cracked version of Windows 10.
Why did he die so soon? Oh, I know, he forgot to plug in his charger!
If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribble.
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."