Hes jokes
Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.
Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To show he wasn't a chicken.
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know. Maybe he went barking around.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died was because he saw the end.
Memes
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
Yo mama was so dumb, he didn't know how to turn on his computer.
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”
The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to drop some HOT PLATES.
Why was the rapper always the first one at the party?
Because he never missed a beat!
Why did the rapper become a pilot?
Because he wanted to take his flow to new heights!
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he dropped the mic and picked up weights!
Why did the rapper climb a ladder during his performance?
He wanted to take his career to the NEXT LEVEL!
Why did the guy bring a rope to the party?
Because he wanted to hang out... permanently. 💀😈
The South Tower proposed to the North Tower, but he said no.
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
Guys, do not follow Tom, he is super inappropriate. I did a 48-hour face reveal and this is what he said:
Tom 13 minutes ago Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ur so cute I wanna fuck your pussy so hard you look amazing I luv ur face come have sex with me mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.
And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"
I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.
I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.
Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.
Anyone know what happened?