Hes jokes

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.

There was 1 gay guy, who kissed 4576 gay guys. Then had sex with them, creaming so hard, all of the dicks cumming on his face.

Then he stopped and had sex again x6, now he was left with...

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

Boo Boo Doo.

They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"

Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."

Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?

He heard that little boy's pants were half off.

How did Jenson lose against a Cheetah?

Because he was a cheetah!

Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?

My friend misspelled "Mexico" and got here.

He sucked his sister's poop hole.

Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on Saint George's Day.

Irishman: We called our daughter Valentine since she was born on Valentine's Day.

Scotsman: We named our son Pancake because he was born on Pancake Day!

Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.

I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!

A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.

His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.

My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.

As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”

DAMN YOU PESSI!

My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.

My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!

Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?

Diabetes.

An Asian walked up to another Asian that was crying.

He asked, "Is somting wong?"

The other guy says, "I was i a noh paking zon."

Why did my brother cross the road?

Because he was looking for his brain.

Why does Aaron have no friends? Because his spine is weird and he is fat.