Hes jokes
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
'Cause he got stuck in the crack! *butt crack*
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.
Why didn't the teddy bear want to go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
Memes
Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?
Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.
I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.
Yo dad is like a boomerang; he never comes back.
My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."
Did you hear Biden went to the ER?
He's having a little trouble with his Putin.
Why did the doctor turn the orphan down?
Because he is a family doctor.
Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?
Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.
There was 1 gay guy, who kissed 4576 gay guys. Then had sex with them, creaming so hard, all of the dicks cumming on his face.
Then he stopped and had sex again x6, now he was left with...
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
Boo Boo Doo.
They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"
Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."
Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?
He heard that little boy's pants were half off.
How did Jenson lose against a Cheetah?
Because he was a cheetah!
Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?
My friend misspelled "Mexico" and got here.
He sucked his sister's poop hole.