Hes

Hes jokes

Rapper

Why did the rapper climb a ladder during his performance?

He wanted to take his career to the NEXT LEVEL!

Rapper

Why was the rapper always the first one at the party?

Because he never missed a beat!

Rapper

Why was the rapper bad at fishing?

Because he always threw back the lines!

Memes

Rapper

Why did the rapper become a chef?

Because he wanted to drop some HOT PLATES.

Rapper

Why did the rapper become a pilot?

Because he wanted to take his flow to new heights!

Rapper

Why was the rapper always in good shape?

Because he dropped the mic and picked up weights!

Luigi

Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?

A: "It's me, Luigi!"

Rapper

Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?

Because he wanted to make some HONEY FLOWS.

BlessedBrian

"BlessedBrian" is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads him, but somehow he KEEPS SHOWING UP.

Rapper

Why did the rapper become a locksmith?

Because he always had the KEYS!

Contract

Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.

Face

Guys, do not follow Tom, he is super inappropriate. I did a 48-hour face reveal and this is what he said:

Tom 13 minutes ago Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ur so cute I wanna fuck your pussy so hard you look amazing I luv ur face come have sex with me mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Lollipop

My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.

And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"

I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.

Kid

I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.

Friend

Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.

Anyone know what happened?

Name

I went to an interview and my future boss said, "Hi, my name is Watt Niseto, meet you."

Then said, "WHAT IS UR NAME?" He then said,

"What is not my name, Watt is." So I replied, "Ugh fine, I guess I'll call you Wha." Then he said, "Wha I not my name."

And then I said, "Ugh fine, my name is Will Knott." He then replied, "Hi Will Not."