Hes jokes

As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”

DAMN YOU PESSI!

Why does Aaron have no friends? Because his spine is weird and he is fat.

I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”

He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”

My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.

My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!

An Asian walked up to another Asian that was crying.

He asked, "Is somting wong?"

The other guy says, "I was i a noh paking zon."

Why was the American kid late to school?

Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.

Your forehead is so big, Mr. Clean thought he would hire you!

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.

There was 1 gay guy, who kissed 4576 gay guys. Then had sex with them, creaming so hard, all of the dicks cumming on his face.

Then he stopped and had sex again x6, now he was left with...

I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.

Why was 10 scared? Because he was in-between 9/11.

My dad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.

My great uncle died in a concentration camp.

He fell off one of the guard towers.

Yo dad is like a boomerang; he never comes back.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

Boo Boo Doo.

Why did the doctor turn the orphan down?

Because he is a family doctor.

Best friend makes joke about 9/11.

Me: My pop was a part of that!

Best friend: So sorry!

Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."

Did you hear Biden went to the ER?

He's having a little trouble with his Putin.