Yo dad is like a boomerang; he never comes back.
Hes Jokes
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
Boo Boo Doo.
Why did the doctor turn the orphan down?
Because he is a family doctor.
Best friend makes joke about 9/11.
Me: My pop was a part of that!
Best friend: So sorry!
Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."
Did you hear Biden went to the ER?
He's having a little trouble with his Putin.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
'Cause he got stuck in the crack! *butt crack*
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.
Why didn't the teddy bear want to go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.
Person 1: Wasn’t Stephen Hawking on X Factor?
Person 2: No, why would he be on X Factor?
Person 1: For dancing.
Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?
Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.
Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."
Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?
He heard that little boy's pants were half off.
They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"
Why couldn't the orphan use his iPhone 6?
He couldn't find the home button.
This whole string is really messed up. Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. I just heard the audio recording of the crash and it said, "HE'S ON FIRE! BOOM SHAKALAKA!"
