Hes jokes
What did President Ford say when he met Betty?
"I am Gerald Ford and you’re hot."
How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?
He spoke softly and carried a big stick.
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.
Memes
Why did the African child wake up suddenly? Because he was being sexually abused.
Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.
That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.
My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.
Trump's releasing the files.
To catch all the pedophiles.
He didn't know Epstein.
Didn't touch any teens.
Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.
Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.
What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?
"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"
R.I.P. Floyd.
They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!
Are people still mad at Hasan from that dog incident? All he wanted to do was become the world’s first lightningbender.
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't. 61.
What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.