Hes jokes

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The orphan can’t play soccer because he doesn’t know where home is, and his school is too dumb to learn.

When Drake was making the song "Back to Back," he was referring to your hairline.

What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.

Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.

Why are Santa's balls so big?

Because he comes once a year.

What did the customer ask when he went to the cannibal restaurant?

"Who's the special today?"

Why did AlexDaEgg fall down the stairs? Because he is fat.

He pimples?

If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.

When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Cause he would never look both ways.

I met Lebron James, and he was so bald at the time that I could count his hairs.

And that's 1 hair and maybe 2.

What did the janitor think when he was mopping the 101st floor?

The 102nd.

When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!

I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.

I gave an emo kid money.

He gave me the great depression.

Did you hear about the guy who made the knock-knock joke?

He won the "no bell" prize.

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good. He died during 9/11.