Hes jokes

I think my dad loves jokes.

Because he laughs when he looks at me.

When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.

Why did the bullet end up losing his job?

Because he got fired!

My orphan terrorist friend is on TV... I think he blew up.

He is so fast that he broke the internet for the whole world when he ran.

What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"

Why was the orphan so successful? They said "go big or go home," but he could not do the second.

Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.

When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he gets a hole in one.

U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.

U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

Why does Struan smell so awful? Because he is friends with Jerp.

Tell me a joke about my hairline.

No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.

What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!

I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.