Hes jokes

At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.

What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"

The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.

I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

"Bugger off!" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

I ate a man because he was dead!

Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.

If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.

Why is he called Stephen Hawking?

Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.

Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because he can’t find home.

Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?

He was not worth keeping.

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

Why do they call him Mankind if he is always choke slamming people?

Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.

Why does Zac say he works at McDonald's? Because Aaron go errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

What did the eagle say to Obama?

He said: "Joe Mama!"

I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"

I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

What happens when a frog parks illegally?

He gets toad.