Hes jokes
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.
Why did the sped kid get expelled?
Because he was tardy.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Why did the Titanic sink?
Because the people aboard are stupid.
Memes
I guess bro wants our birth rate to turn into a perpendicular line. BP in a nutshell.
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
You are so ugly, when the Joker saw you, he stopped laughing.
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
He gets toad.
My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”
What did the eagle say to Obama?
He said: "Joe Mama!"
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.
Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."
Bush is innocent, he's white...
What did Rob O'Neill say before he shot Osama Bin Laden between the eyes?
"Go to HELLakbar!"