Hes jokes
My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.
Trump's releasing the files.
To catch all the pedophiles.
He didn't know Epstein.
Didn't touch any teens.
Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.
Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.
What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
Memes
I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.
What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?
"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"
R.I.P. Floyd.
They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!
Are people still mad at Hasan from that dog incident? All he wanted to do was become the world’s first lightningbender.
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't. 61.
What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.
Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?
Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.
Why was 10 afraid?
Because he was in the middle of 9 and 11.
My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.
I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.
As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.
Have you ever stepped into Steven Hawking's House?
Neither has he.
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.