Hes jokes

Stephen Hawking died because he did a wheelie and unplugged his charger.

What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?

He cracked up!

What would Martin Luther King be if he was white? Alive.

Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?

A. A Billy Goose.

What did the Orphan say when he Googled Orphan jokes?

I would say these jokes hit home, but there is no home to hit.

What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?

Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.

I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.

My owl turned 180 today.

He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.

After 6 months of lockdown,

I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself.

When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.

Stop the cap.

Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"

Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.

I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.

I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.

A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.

His wife was up waiting for him.

"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.

He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."

Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.

Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.

Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.

"Why is Peter Pan always flying?"

"He never lands."