Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
Hes Jokes
My owl turned 180 today.
He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.
"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to GROW his fan base.
Why was the rapper always well-dressed?
Because he knew the importance of FLOW in FASHION.
Why did the rapper refuse to play cards?
Because he was tired of dealing with all the jokers.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
I read the joke "what we breathe is called oxygen, that is African food" to my African friend, but he is breathing in tears from his mother dying of hunger...
Your kid's so ugly he would make a Happy Meal cry.
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator? He was fired because he couldn't learn the route.
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
