Hes

Hes jokes

Rapper

Why was the rapper bad at baseball?

Because he always dropped the MIC instead of the BAT.

Doctor

Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.

Mama

Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.

Chicken

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"

Dad

Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.

Memes

Dad

I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.

President

Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?

He’s just Biden his time.

Rapper

Why did the rapper bring a map to the recording studio?

Because he heard they were dropping TRACKS.

Rapper

Why did the rapper get kicked out of the kitchen?

Because he kept dropping the BEETS!

Rapper

Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?

Because he wanted to spit BARS on time.

Grandpa

My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.

Train

Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?

Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH

Bag

My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(

Funeral

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

Dog

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

Rapper

How did the rapper find his missing phone?

He checked the track list.

Difference

What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?

Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.

Slave Owner

What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?

Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.