Hes jokes

When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.

And then Mark came in.

People joking about 9/11.

Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."

Oh.

"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"

If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?

What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?

"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

Because he wanted to go to high school.

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.

What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?

"An RC-XD!"

That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.

An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.

I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.

A skeleton decided to become an assassin.

He was always skull-king around!

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.

Why did the ducky get arrested?

He got caught selling quack.

Why were the baker's hands brown?

Because he was kneading a poop.