Hes jokes
Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
Because he can't get home.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
Memes
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
Why did Dan the orphan go to the orphanage?
Because he was! I couldn't make the homepage website!!
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.
Little Johnny when he makes a Uranus joke:
Little Johnny: I have achieved comedy! 😂😂😂😂😂
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
Why did the orphan fail in baseball?
He couldn't find home.
Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.
Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?
Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.
Why is LeBron James an orphan?
Because he doesn't use WhatsApp.
Did you hear about the dead Italian chef?
He pasta way!
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.