Hes jokes

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

Because he wanted to go to high school.

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.

What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?

"An RC-XD!"

That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.

An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.

I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.

A skeleton decided to become an assassin.

He was always skull-king around!

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.

Why did the ducky get arrested?

He got caught selling quack.

Why were the baker's hands brown?

Because he was kneading a poop.

Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.

Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

Me: I have no bullet holes.

Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

Me: Ayo what the fuc*.

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?

Because he can't get home.