Hes jokes

Why can't the orphan play baseball?

Because he does not know where home is.

A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.

What does Sonic say when he's bored?

Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"

What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?

"Dance to the beet, y'all!"

Why can't the T-Rex cross the road?

Because he's extinct.

What did a skeleton say when he's alone?

"I'm so bonely..."

Why can't the orphan go on a field trip?

Because he can't sign the parent's signature.

An alligator is in a class, turns out he likes teaching!

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!

What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!

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My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

A man walks into a bar... and he never walks out.

What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?

Cassie.

Get it?