Hes jokes

Jeff crosses the US border.

The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.

Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."

Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"

James replied, "He's as old as me."

Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."

James then said, "He became my father when I was born."

Why can't Stephen Hawking be the real Slim Shady?

Because he can't stand up, can't stand up.

Hitler is a national hero, he killed Hitler... Oh wait.

Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

A: Bison.

"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.

So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"

I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.

Why was 10 scared?

Because he was in-between 9-11.

I suck Cyrus's dick when he is sleeping.

Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.

Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.

Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.

I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.

Stephen is lucky he doesn’t need a vibrator.

He’s got himself.

What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.

I am looking for a Robert "Jamie" Weber. He is a friend of mine from 3rd grade that welcomed me as the new kid. I am currently in 6th grade going into 7th grade (summer brake).

Why did the FBI get a foster family for an orphan?

So he could be in a lovely family before death.

My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.

Stephen Hawking died due to the BIOS update. He shut down because the power cable got chewed.