Hes jokes

An orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey, bum, bum, bum, got a family?"

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter, he's not coming.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

He won the “no-bell” prize.

Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?

A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.

A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."

I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.

The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.

Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"

The kid replied, "I'm not sad."

Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."

This kid lost Kahoot, so he shot up the school.

I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂

Once I said to an orphan, "What the 'F' means in 'orphan'?"

He replied, "There's no 'F'."

Me: "There's no family."

My dad died in 9/11.

He was a good pilot.

He got a paper cut and bled out.

A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.

Why didn't the teddy bear go to the gym?

Because he didn't want to get ripped.

A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.

He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.

Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.

Stephen Hawking is the real Slim Shady... but he can’t stand up ☹️

Why can't the orphan play baseball?

Because he does not know where home is.

My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.

Yo mama so stupid, she made Patrick run away because he thought it was contagious! 🤣