Hes jokes

Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.

Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.

Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.

Conclusion: Therefore he exists.

Did you walk up Stephen Hawking's drive?

Don’t worry, he didn’t either.

Why did Stephen Hawking cross the road?

Oh wait, he didn't.

Your kid's so ugly he would make a Happy Meal cry.

The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎

My uncle died in 9/11. He was a pilot.

I read the joke "what we breathe is called oxygen, that is African food" to my African friend, but he is breathing in tears from his mother dying of hunger...

Dylan is so stinking when he goes for a poo poo! 😭🤣🤣

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.

He’s used to penetrating aggressively.

Why didn't the child go to school?

Because he died of a heroin overdose.

What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?

Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.

Why was the rapper always good at math?

Because he had a lot of FLOW CHARTS.

Why did the rapper become a chef?

Because he was always COOKING UP RHYMES!

How did the rapper find his missing phone?

He checked the track list.

BlessedBrian is always stupid, but he’s been making a SPECIAL EFFORT recently.

Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for BLESSEDBRIAN. I think he owes it an apology.

Why was the rapper so good at math?

Because he could count his bars.