Hes jokes

Why did the rapper refuse to play cards?

Because he was tired of dealing with all the jokers.

Why did the rapper become a barber?

Because he loved to drop FRESH CUTS.

Why did the rapper become a fisherman?

Because he wanted to reel in the BEST HOOKS.

Why did the DJ go to jail?

Because he dropped the bass too hard!

Why did the rapper become a gardener?

Because he wanted to drop some ROOT RHYMES.

What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?

"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"

Why did the rapper become a plumber?

Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES!

Why did the rapper become a chef?

Because he knew how to mix up some beats!

Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?

Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH

Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*

Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?

Why did the egg cross the road?

'Cause he wanted to be scrambled!

I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.

My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.

An orphan walks into a shop but gets lost, so he calls his mum but then remembers.

Your mama is so stupid, Patrick Starr ran away because he thought she might be contagious.

*America shoots down balloon*

China: "You killed an innocent man!!"

USA: "What?!"

China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."

You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.

Jeff crosses the US border.

The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.

Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."

Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"

James replied, "He's as old as me."

Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."

James then said, "He became my father when I was born."

Why can't Stephen Hawking be the real Slim Shady?

Because he can't stand up, can't stand up.

Hitler is a national hero, he killed Hitler... Oh wait.