Hes jokes
Did you hear about the dead Italian chef?
He pasta way!
Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.
I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!
Why were the baker's hands brown?
Because he was kneading a poop.
Memes
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
What is it called when an orphan goes on vacation?
Answer: He's making family memories.
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
Because he can't get home.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
Little Johnny when he makes a Uranus joke:
Little Johnny: I have achieved comedy! 😂😂😂😂😂
So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.
Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"
James replied, "He's as old as me."
Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."
James then said, "He became my father when I was born."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.
No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.
Why did Peter bring toilet roll to the party? Because he was a party pooper!
Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.
A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.
Why was 10 scared?
Because he was in-between 9-11.