If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
Hes Jokes
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
Q: Why was the pilot sad?
A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀
Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
Did you hear about the dead Italian chef?
He pasta way!
Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.
I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!
Why were the baker's hands brown?
Because he was kneading a poop.
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
What is it called when an orphan goes on vacation?
Answer: He's making family memories.
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
Because he can't get home.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
Little Johnny when he makes a Uranus joke:
Little Johnny: I have achieved comedy! 😂😂😂😂😂
