Hes jokes
Chris started to tell me a joke about a nut, but he couldn't finish it.
What should you name a dog without any legs?
It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell, he's not coming.
What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?
"I got stuck in a butt crack!"
Why wasn’t the frog 🐸 crying?
Because he was hoppy.
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
Memes
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.
Why didn't the orange go to the doctor?
Because he had vitamin C.
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
How did Stephen Hawking actually die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he broke his leg?
Hospital or Currys PC World?
A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.
Why did Steward die in the toilet?
He saw his Undercut in the mirror.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he gets to call someone father.
Looks like he got stuck in a sticky situation.