Hes

Hes jokes

Sister

Little Johnny said to his mate, "I bet I can make you swear." His mate said, "Good luck." So Johnny told his mate that he slept with his sister. His mate yelled, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"

Orphan

Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?

Because so he does not have a home button.

Orphan

The parents used to hit him.

His parents got into a car crash and died.

He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"

Knight

Why did the knight cross the road?

He can't because his armor was too heavy.

Memes

Grandfather

My grandfather told me Iโ€™m too reliant on technology, so I unplugged his life support and called him a hypocrite. I doubt he ever said that to anyone ever again.

Scent

The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.

Kid

Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?

He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.

Land Mine

I wasnโ€™t close to my dad when he died. Itโ€™s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.

Stress

Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?

Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.

Song

What is an emo kid's favorite song?

"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.

Orphan

Why do your orphans not drink beer?

Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.

Conductor

I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasnโ€™t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.

Steroid

A man bought steroids from Amazon.com... He was expecting a big package to come!

Gwen

Gwen be like: Oh, I hate akeld, he is mean.

Also Gwen: *Spams the N word and momma jokes*

Orphan

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he/she doesn't know where to run home.

Orphanage

So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"

Why can't he say that?

Answer: He works at an orphanage.

Toilet Paper

What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?

"I got stuck in a butt crack!"