"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
Hes Jokes
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
My dad was a great pilot...
He died in 9/11.
Yo dad is so hairy, people chased him because they thought he was Bigfoot.
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
How did Stephen Hawking actually die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection.
A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.
Why did Steward die in the toilet?
He saw his Undercut in the mirror.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he broke his leg?
Hospital or Currys PC World?
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.
