Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.
Hes Jokes
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
Yo momma is so ugly, Slenderman runs from her.
It's also why he has no eyes.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.
What should you name a dog without any legs?
It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell, he's not coming.
Chris started to tell me a joke about a nut, but he couldn't finish it.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he gets to call someone father.
Rapboat so fat he got more chins than Chinatown.
Why was the rapper always calm?
Because he had a lot of chill flows.
My grandpa died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot.
One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.
I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
An Aboriginal Australian told me that I was on his farmland.
So I told him he was on my cock.
(I'm Australian btw, respect to my American bros🇺🇸)
I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.
The things you do for your cousins!
Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"
Kat, what? I did. A cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah! So funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time of Do you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin?
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
The police officer in London, who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman, drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car, murder her, and do whatever to her, has appealed against his Whole Life tariff.
He should be relieved it was only that! Could've been worse... could've married her!
