Hes jokes

When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.

It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.

Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.

He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."

A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."

I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.

He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.

I guess you can say he xxxpired.

Why did he die?

Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.

My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.

I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.

He thought it was eggcellent.

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he just asked her to move.

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.

The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...

He plays Fortnite just to build walls.

"What did the orphan say to the other orphan? \"You have a dad? Say he can have me, I will (let) you, so he can adopt me.\""

I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.

What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?

Dam.

What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?

Bruno Mars.

If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was dumb.