Hes jokes
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
Memes
Why can't orphans go to a school field trip?
Because he needs the parent's signature.
I saw a little boy begging for money.
I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents!"
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?
Because he’s always on the webcast.
Why was the orphan so bad at baseball?
He couldn't find home.
Zozo went to the store and walked out with nothing, why?
Zozo the hobo is a hobo, remember? He doesn’t have any money.
Why was the fart on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.
Why does Mario eat mushrooms?
Because he's a very fungi!
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a truck.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He read the weather forecast.