Hes jokes
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
Do you know why an atom is positive? He kept his electrons.
Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.
He still is a kid.
Memes
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?
Answer: Because he sucks!
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.
Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?
Because he was searching for the PERFECT FLOW.
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the show?
Because he wanted to drop some FLY VERSES!
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.
Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?
Angela: His name is Kevin.
Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?
Angela: I don't know.