Hes jokes

I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.

That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!

The emo kid went for a high five. People say he's still hanging.

How to kick a deaf person off the plane:

Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.

Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.

Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.

A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."

He couldn't shoot straight.

A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.

A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"

The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.

Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.

The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...

Q: Why is Saturn a boy planet?

A: Because he has a nice ring to it.

What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?

Dam.

1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.

2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!

3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.

4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.

5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was dumb.

He plays Fortnite just to build walls.

"What did the orphan say to the other orphan? \"You have a dad? Say he can have me, I will (let) you, so he can adopt me.\""

I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.

A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.

Part 1

What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?

He flew up!

What did the dad say to the kid?

Nothing, he went to get the milk.

If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.

What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?

Bruno Mars.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. So what was 10 scared of? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.