A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
What did the Pokemon lover say when he got to the shoe store?
I have to Pikashoe.
Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?
Because he’s always on the webcast.
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?
Do you know why an atom is positive? He kept his electrons.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?
Answer: Because he sucks!