Hes jokes
What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.
I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
Me going to jail after telling the orphan he can't learn about ancient Egypt because he don't know what a mummy is.
Chuck Norris once went to hell.
After that, the Devil only falls asleep after he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?
Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
He could never get a home run.
Why did the orphan turn gay?
A: Because he wanted someone to call him "daddy."
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."