Hes jokes
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
He could never get a home run.
Me going to jail after telling the orphan he can't learn about ancient Egypt because he don't know what a mummy is.
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
Memes
I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?
Because he was searching for the PERFECT FLOW.
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
Stephen Hawking's death was completely accidental.
He pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep".
The orphan wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
But why was 10 scared? Because he is right in the middle of 9/11!
Why didn't the doctor help the orphan?
Because he was a family doctor!
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.