Hes

Hes jokes

Orphan

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him, "Go big or go home," he/she only had one option.

Detector

Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.

Magician

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

Orphan

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

Orphan

Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?

Because he punched dumbos like you people!

Hairline

Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.

Orphan

Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.

Man

You just shot an unarmed man.

Well, he should have armed himself then.

Friend

I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.

... It was a bittersweet victory.

Disorder

Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?

Ocean

In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!

Wheelchair

My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.

Orphan

Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?

Because he didn’t do his homework.

Girl

My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)

Orphan

Why was the orphan eating cereal with water? Because he has no dad to bring him milk.

Titanic

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

Brother

Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!